Secrets of IT Revealed: How to handle clients?
Clients are like GOD in our sweet industry. No wonder, people have gone to the extreme of keeping clients photograph on there desktop, worshipping them before starting day’s activity and things like that. They play a very important role and your future (& your appraisal, salary, perks, etc.) depends on how much business they give it to you.
Then how to deal with them Z000n, I hear you ask.
Just follow 9 simple commandments given below, you will be running up the ladders (Might even land into your clients office if you’re fast climber)
- Thou shall always respect your client and treat him as GOD. International clients are never visible when you deal with them. You only hear there voice (and shouts) on your cell phone. GOD is also not visible, but you know HE is somewhere around.
- Thou shall never get “emotionally” attached to your client while working for him. Especially during audit when you are sent to find flaws in their processes. I remember while dealing with an Umm-ricccan client, he introduced me to his family. Then he used to drop me at my hotel after office too. Oh boy, it made me a bit difficult to highlight flaws in his business processes
- Thou shall never audit your clients laptop. Everyone likes to watch p0rn. Do I need to say anything more?
- Thou shall use your clients snap as wallpaper. This will act as a booster to work hard or get screwed from “human species” seen on that wallpaper
- Thou shall accept whatever your client says about yourself.You are dumb, if this is what your client says, accept it. Client knows better that what you really think of yourself
- Thou shall never sleep with anyone from the client’s side. Never do this. You’ll get screwed up from four sides at a time – office, client, home, girl friend.
- Thou shall treat your client with equal respect even when not involved in face-to-face communication. When we used to have telephonic conference call with our Japanese client, we used to BOW (Japanese ishtyle) in front of the telephone as soon as we hear the voice from other side. This is called giving “equal respect”. Hindi-Japani bhai-bhai!!
- Thou shall always accompany your clients for dinner, if they visit you. Never miss this golden chance. While having meals, keep on bouncing Q’s related to project at hand, to make them believe that for 24hrs only WORK is on your mind. It doesn’t matter if you play HALO-combat game when you’re actually suppose to work.
- Thou shall never cry in front of client for salary raise. Stop acting like a cheapo at least in front of your client. I’ve seen people actually doing this.