After outsourcing…its OUTSEXING!!!

(Warning: Explicit material. Reader discretion advised.)

Outsourcing to India is the latest trend in IT industry, these days. You name it and “developed” countries are eager to outsource anything to “developing” countries under the name of cheap labor.

Take for example, few days back I read an article about one such outsourcing where final year exam papers were being scanned so that they could send it across to India, while the teachers enjoy the vacation. Now that is something which amused me a lot.

We were ruled by Britishers few years back, thanks to the effort of few great people; very soon we got our Independence. But what are we doing now? Paid slavery? I’m an IT slave and serving few clients myself. I know, what matters by the end of the day is the quality that you deliver and they don’t care about how many and what kinda people worked on it. You meet the deadline on time and the client’s happy.

So I believe the time is near, when anything and everything will come to us and we’ll happily perform the duty. The day is not far, my friends, when the following conversation will take place in almost every “sweet-and-happy” home somewhere out there on this planet.

HE: Honey, its Friday night. Time for “fun”!!
SHE: (I’m done with headaches, back aches, this ache and that ache…need to find out a work around soon): Yes!! You know our neighbors have come across this concept of outsourcing “fun” to India...and they call it as outsexing. We just have to DIAL 1-800-Out-Sexing for India and ask operator to connect to any couple of our choice. That’s it.
HE: Is it that simple? Wow!! I think we should give it a try. What say hun?
SHE: Go ahead!!


HE: Hello…operator…can you connect me to someone who can help us in having “fun”
Operator (someone from deep South): Vannakamm SARRR!! You have reached “fun” line of Out-Sexing. Please dial serro for “fun” on the phone
Please dial serro serro for “fun” on internet
Please dial serro serro serro for “fun” on web cam
Please dial serro serrro serrro serrro for...

HE: Errrr…hold on a sec dude... Why you have only serros…in your menu list?
Operator: SAAAR, the other keys are outsourced for some other purposes you see. Kaasst cutting is going on.

HE: Alright…alright…just make it quick..



HE: Hello…Is this the contact number where we can outsource our “friday night fun”
Voice from the other end: FUN?? Do you mean…
HE: Yes…yes. Exactly!!
Voice: What the F#$#? Where the hell is Babloo? I think he has registered our Phone number on some illegal sites…
HE: Errr…what?
Voice: Nothing. That was for my idiot son…And you….you…firangi…don’t you even dare to call here again!! We don’t provide any kind of entertainments like this.

*thud*

HE: Is that what you meant by “fun”
SHE: No…no… I think we got the wrong line. Can you please ask the operator to connect again?
HE: Betta this be the right one now.

This time I’m sure he gets lucky enough to get through the right “outsexed” couple. They both enjoy watching the outsourced “fun” and then…when the fun time is over…

HE: Boy that was awesome…What dya say?
SHE: It sure was…now I’m tired. Gotta get up early tomorrow.
HE: Gnite hun!!
SHE: Nite…Nite!!

However, don't be surprised if the actual thoughts go something like this:

HE: Damn…that chick in outsexing was HOT. I seriously need to consider this option of outsexing seriously.
SHE: Thanks to outsexing. I was running outta excuses anyway.
Outsexed guy: They never realized that I was doing “it” with a plastic doll…and I charged them for 2 people. Hehehe….sucka!!